Monday, December 25, 2006

Minsan Ang Minahal Ay Ako (Loved Me For A While)

Ano na lang 'yung 'sang sandali na makatikim ng pagmamahal (What of a few moments to taste some loving)
Matapos ang luhang ipinagpalit? (After the tears have been replaced?)
Ang sandali, 'di naman magtagal, ang yakap mo'y hahanap-hanapin (The moment still didn't last, and longing for your embrace)
Akala ko ang mundo na ay akin, ngunit hindi pala ganyan (I thought the world was already mine, but it was not to be)
Kay bilis makalimutan na minsan ang minahal ay ako (Too soon to forget that you loved me for a while)

Ano na lang 'yung kaunting pasakit kung katumbas ay pagmamahal? (What of a few pains if it meant love)
Pag-ibig mo ay aking langit, kahit buhay ko ay handang isugal (Your love is my heaven, I am even ready to give up my life)
Ang himig mo'y aking aawitin habang ako'y kakailanganin (I will sing your song while you still need me)
At kung ako'y iyong saktan, ito ma'y gagawing dahilan (And if you hurt me, if this will be your reason)
'Pagkat minsan ang minahal ay ako (Because you loved me for a while)

Ang lingap mo ay hahanap-hanapin sa puso mong minsan ay sa akin (I will miss you caring for me in your heart that was once mine)
At kung ako ay malimutan, kahit sa awit ko man lamang (And if you forget me, even through this song of mine)
Iyo sanang matandaan bago tuluyang lumisan na minsan ang minahal ay ako (You remember, before you go, that you loved me even for just a while)

A Photo Session 6






photography by Highmercury

Friday, December 22, 2006

I'll Let You Be

I'll let you be,
I'll let you find the happiness you long for.
I'll let you be with the one you are praying for.

I'll let you go my friend.
I'll let you .
Go.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Of Love and Blindness

What do you feel when you are in love? Deeply in love?
What can you do?
Up to what extent of your human capacity will you go through just to run after the one you love?

What sacrifices will you do? What risks will you take?
Is this noble? Or is it stupidity?

I fell in love, it was the greatest thing I ever felt. I am happy. I felt safe. Loneliness was never a friend of mine. I did some sacrifices, I took some risks. I am head over heels. But up to a certain point.
When the relationship was over. I was devastated, I was alone.
But up to a certain point.
I move on.
What if you fell in love deeply with another person, but with a twist, the other person does not love you back? You just assume you are loved back.

And.

You are the only one who is willing to take all the risks and all the sacrifices.
You are the only one who seemed to be head over heels.

You are the only one who believed you are both in love.
And the object of your affection is just playing along.

Have you ever thought of what he is thinking of?
What does he see when he looks at you?
Does he feel privileged? Does he feel special? Or is he irritated? Or you are just feeding his ego?

And you are willing to go through it all knowing it is a one way street?

Is this noble? Is it blindness?
It hurts to know that there are people who are like this.
It doesn't matter whether their pride is under six feet of heavy soil of blindness.
Or they threw away all their principles, beliefs, ego and love of self in the wind, never to look for it again, just to be loved, or even catch a glimpse of pity.

Pitiful love. Being loved because of pity.

It doesn't matter whether their sense of being is overshadowed by that illusion that the love they are experiencing was real.

It doesn't matter that you accept and undergo all the disappointments, hurts, being used, abused, thrown like a rag, disregarded and ignored.
You cry. Then what? You go through it all again. For what? For love?


Is this real love? Is this blindness? Is this stupidity?
I want to know, because I want to understand.

Because I don't understand. I do not understand.

A Photo Session 5








photography by Highmercury

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Makita Kang Muli - Just To See You Again

Bawat sandali ng aking buhay (Every moment of my life)
Pagmamahal mo ang aking taglay (Your love is all I had)
San man mapadpad ng hangin (Anywhere the wind takes me)
Hindi magbabago aking pagtingin (I will never change)

Pangako natin sa Maykapal (Our promise to the Creator)
Na tayo lamang sa habang buhay (There's only the two of us forever)
Maghintay (Just you wait)

Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig (I will fight for our love)
Maghintay ka lamang, Ako’y darating (Just wait and I wil be there)
Pagka’t sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso (Because to the one person you love with all your heart)
Lahat ay gagawin makita kang muli, (You'll do anything, just to see you again)
Makita kang muli (Just to see you again)

Puso’y nagdurusa nangungulila (The heart is hurting and longing)
Iniisip ka ‘pag nag-iisa (Thingking of you whenever alone)
Inaalala mga sandali (Remembering every moment)
Nang tayo ay magkapiling (That we are together)
Ikaw ang gabay sa aking tuwina (You are my everyday guide)
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw (My light in the dark night)
Tanging ikaw (Only you)

Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig (I will fight for our love)
Maghintay ka lamang, Ako’y darating (Just wait and I will be there)
Pagka’t sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso (Because to the one person you love with all your heart)
Lahat ay gagawin makita kang muli, (You'll do anything, just to see you again)
Makita kang muli (Just to see you again)

The Lady In The Water


Last night I watched a movie by M.Night Shyamalan, The Lady In The Water.

I read the reviews in the internet, and mostly I found was disapproving. They say it has a lot of loopholes. Horrible CGI effects. Inconsistencies.

I say it depends upon the viewer. I found the movie beautiful. I found it touching.
The movie is telling us that we should always be in touch with the child in us. We should reclaim our innocence, innocence that we lost because we let ourselves be swallowed by the life we thought we should live. We live for work, for money, for material things, for superficial happiness, for fake emotions.

I sometimes watch my nieces and nephews at play. How innocent they were. They don't care at all whether there is a war in Iran or someone died. That the government is corrupt. That the prices of basic commodities is getting higher and higher.

They just play, and if you listen to them laughing, something inside you laughs with them. You will feel the inner child in you wanting also to play.

The movie tells about a mythical creature called Narfs, a kind of sea nymph, who once upon a time had a close relationship with humans. They are the ones who could tell the future, who gives advice, who helps human reach their full potential and become great men. But soon men discovers that there is a lot to explore and learn in the physical world they are living in. They build houses, invent many things...until men live further and further from the water, from the sea, from the Narfs. Men become selfish, proud, arrogant and hurt each other. This saddens the Narfs and never stop reaching for humans to "awaken" their higher selves and get in touch with their inner child.

Naturally, it is a bedtime story in the East. But it was relived in the movie by a lowly maintenance man who got involved with a Narf, together with the other tenants in the apartment building he is working for, they try to help the Narf to find her "vessel" or the one human she came for to "awaken" him for his "purpose" in this world. Of course, it was not easy. The maintenance man has to check each tenant out who befits the characters in the bedtime story, not to mention make them believe and at the same time encounter a hellish creature who tries to kill the Narf to stop her.

But in the end, all tenants work together to send the Narf back home after she met her "vessel" in the form of a human writer whose writings will help change the world...his purpose.

It was really a poignant film that touches the inner self. Finding our purpose, make good use of what we have, and in a childlike enthusiasm and point of view, we can be successful in finding who we really are.

Yes, there are loopholes and other inconsistencies, but beyond that, listen and watch the story.
It might help you realize that not all in this world involves material and superficial things. What is important is how we lived.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

A Christmas Party - With My Two Bestfriends


Have you had a friend whom you consider to be your best friend? They say nowadays it is hard to look for a friend. A true friend who will stick by you, beside you all the times you needed someone you can lean on?

A friend who is not afraid to tell you are wrong when you are wrong. Agrees with you when you are right.
Someone who listens to your woes and blues. Laughs with you till you got tears in your eyes.

It is rare to find one special friend, a best friend. I am lucky. I have two.

Gigi and Arcie had been my friends since high school. Well, 15 years ago. Imagine, since teenagers. We were so carefree then. We three were voted as the most likely to fail. Yes, most likely to not succeed in life.

But what they don't know is that behind our carefree facade, we had dreams.
We used to sit up the Old Intramuros wall in Manila right in front of our school (MIT) and dream and plan our lives.

I never finished college, so was Gigi. But that does not stopped us from reaching our dreams. We mastered all the syllabus that experience could teach us. We are survivors, Gigi and I. We used our strength, our determination and lots of prayers. Now, Gigi has a jewelry business. I bought my own house. I am taking care of my family. Gigi has three beautiful kids, dispatched his no good husband and proved to her in-laws she could take care of the kids, and she did. Out earning her ex-husband, until the idiot lost his work.

I have a stable job. I am a supervisor in a Japanese manufacturing company handling all importations, exportations and local deliveries. I had odd jobs when I stopped schooling, waitering, fast food staff, secretary but I did not complain. I'm biding my time. I am learning.

Arcie on the other had, his determination lead him to finish his college, worked as a manager in a Korean manufacturing company, trained in Korea and enjoyed a happy life. He married his co-worker, had a daughter.

Now he is an owner of a computer shop when he find working for a boss is too much already. He is now the boss of his staff.

Anyway, we seldom see each other, but throughout the years, we never lost touch. We were there for each other whenever we needed each other. We go out once in a while, we have dinner, we go shopping…but mostly we just sit down in a cozy coffee shop and spend hours and hours of talking. Sharing our lives, heeding advices, argue about things, make up and just laugh about it.

We had a Christmas party, just the three of us. Last Sunday night. It was hell of party. We had so much fun. I never thought a party with three participants would be that fun. We stuffed ourselves in a fancy restaurant. We, of course, talk and laugh all night. We exchange gifts and took pictures. We even bitch about some things. The people around us, the waiters, the food…for fun. Lol.

Then we decided to go to a SPA. That’s where the real party began. We enjoyed the Jacuzzi, all of us naked (as if we have anything to hide anymore from each other), we stayed for a few minutes in the steam room, then in the sauna. Had some herbal teas and saw a lot of naked men..hehehe…of course Gigi was ecstatic too..hehehe

The finale is a Shiatsu massage with oil from three hunky good looking guys each one of us had. In one big room with three beds, we heard each others moans and groans as each men knead and massage our bodies. We laugh again of course, but in the middle of the session, it was just our oohs and aahs that filled the room.

It was a great, great night for the three of us. We went home with big smiles on our lips. I slept soundly that night too.

It was a night to remember indeed, as with many other times we are together, each time there’s something new to tell. Each time, a renewed bond between friends. I really am lucky, I have two best friends.

They are a blessing. I am grateful. I love them so much.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Your Beloved - My Brief Journey of Self Acceptance

Some people like me find it hard to reconcile their spirituality and their orientation. Especially those whose orientation tends to lean on the same sex. I have had my own personal struggle, search and victory over such reconciliation and I personally believe that whoever I am or what I become, my God will never, ever abandon me.

They say that having such an orientaton (same sex) is an abomination. Says who? You? Your clergy? Your next door neighbor? Don't tell me your Mom and Dad?

I believe, I am born this way. I am a creation of God. If God do condemn people like me, then why am I here? I remember what my Pastor said to me a long, long time ago. He told me, when my mother and my father were sharing their undying love and devotion to each other, from my dad I am released into my mother's womb together with a thousand more. Of all those thousands of male cell, I AM THE ONE PARTICULAR cell that developed into a beautiful child of God.

Just for that, I am special. I am unique and God has a purpose, God has a plan and I am where I am where God wants me to be.

I remember when I was lost, I became a rebel, always my father's headache. I am searching for who I am. Where to be identified with and to belong. (Good thing, I did not resort to drugs. I am fully aware still of its desctructive effects!) But I got tangled in the web of sexual exploits, joining groups of street hustlers, young men of the night, bumming, running away, living with my friends.

I was a total stranger to myself. I cannot handle the truth. I searched for answers to everyone I met. I asked them what do they feel? Do they know who they are? Why are we this way?
Sometimes they laugh, sometimes they get irritated, most of the time they just ignore the question and used me.

I always felt empty. There is this big hole in my heart and my soul that cannot be filled up. I just go to one person to another until I am so exhausted I just sleep wherever sleep caught up with me. For years I become a nobody. The secret is well kept. Even my closest friends did not know.

Until I met a guy, his orientation is exactly like mine. But he seemed to be at ease. Confident. Proud. He knows exactly what he is and what he likes. I am in awe. Here is a person who is exactly like me, yet you can see in him peace and confidence.

So, naturally I am envious and I asked asked him why and how? He told me he had make his peace with God, with himself, with his family and friends. Meaning?

He believed. He believed that God is good. God is love. There is no room for discrimination nor condemnation in God's heart. He even quoted the bible's John 3:16..."whomsoever believed in Him, shall not perish but have eternal life."

Whomsoever, not excluding anyone. Meaning everyone, regardless. It struck me. My heart leaped. There's a ray of light that shone in my soul. Suddenly it was clear. I found the answer.

I had a conversation with God the following day. I went to my favorite place.A long strip of walkway along Roxas Boulevard, Manila. By the bay, one afternoon as the sun sets on the horizon, creating a dazzling array of colors above me. I talked with God and I said, I believe. I believe You made me who I am and I am special. I am Your child and You love me. If no one can love me for who I am, and how You made me, You will. I am who I am. This is me. I have to make the most of it. I have to love myself. This is not a preference. This is not a choice. I am me. I cried, from joy. At last a sudden peace enveloped my restless heart.

I slept soundly that night for the first time.

I came out to my family. I gathered my siblings around me and told them who I am. All of them were accepting and understanding. One brother was not. He became angry, dissapointed and humiliated. He did not spoke to me for almost a year. I left home. I lived on my own. I found work and supported myself.

Until one Christmas day, he just approached me and gave me a gift. No words were spoken, no drama. Just one act. One moment. I am home at last. I was so happy. I am free.

I came out with my friends with a bang!

I joined my first Gay Pride, 1999. (By the way the guy who led me to God become a friend and introduced me to his church, catering to the GLTB group of men and women where I become active and a leader of the Education Ministry and the Music Ministry. But that's another story.)

Where was I? Oh, I joined my first Pride. Of course it was shown on National TV because the Media was all around to cover the momentous event. I was interviewed on TV which was shown that evening. I was asked by the lady reporter why am I in the Parade from which I answered, it was my way of telling the world who I am and how proud I was.

One of my closest friend from highschool watched the late night news and was in shock. The next day I am the talk of my whole highschool batchmates and my gang. They were surprised but was not indifferent about it. In fact they find it brave and they are also proud of me.

So I made peace with God, with my family and my friends. I guess that's all that matters. I try to share my belief with other men and women who has the same orientation as me. I tell them that all is well. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are special. We are loved. We belong in this world. Let's discover what it has instore for us. Let's discover what talent God gave us and prove to the world, we belong.

Thus this song:



Your Beloved

 Lord it was You who
Created the heavens
Lord it was Your hand
(That) put the stars in their place
Lord it is Your voice
(That) commands the morning
Even oceans and their waves
Bow at Your feet

Lord who am I
Compared to Your glory, Oh Lord
Lord who am I
Compared to Your majesty

(I) am Your beloved Your creation
And You love me as I am
(You) have called me chosen for Your kingdom
Unashamed to call me Your own
(I) am Your beloved
 

I Can Only Imagine

I heard the voice of my Incubus once again, this song was shared to me. I listened and I was touched.

I am sharing it with you, hope you feel the same way too.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
By Mercy Me

I can only imagine what it will be like
When I walk by Your side
I can only imagine what my eyes will see
When Your face is before me
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
What will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus?
Or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence?
Or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine when that day comes
And I find myself standing in the Son
I can only imagine when all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship You
I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Thursday, December 14, 2006

On Loving and Lies

What do you do when you fall for someone and you thought the feeling is mutual?
When you were showed the world, the reason for being in love, for giving you hope of a wonderful future and found out that all is one big lie.

You fall. Big time!

It's as if your heart was literally ripped out of your chest, thrown on the ground and stepped on, chrushed and left to bleed.

Hatred? Anger? Miserable?

You try to reason, you find it hard to move on. Why? Because you gave everything, time, money, emotions, feelings, and love. One way.

But for what? For finding out that you are cheated? A friendly thoughtfulness you misinterpreted? Was it your fault?

Everyday, you cry, you lose yourself. You are going crazy.

Sometimes I find it funny, really. I am a person who moves on as soon as I stop crying. As soon as I realized tomorrow it will just me alone. I move on. I go on living. My world did not stop when I am rejected; when I am left behind.

I pull myself together, pick up what's left of me and try to move on.
Still hurting, yes, still thinking about the pain. Can't bear to see the person. You feel like giving in again to the slightest thoughtfulness. It's all crap.

It might sound so easy to do. Yes, I know it's not. YOU MAKE IT NOT EASY!
It's just a matter of perspective. It's just a matter or choice.
I know love is like a double-edged sword. Sharp, cuts both ways. We can't deny that feeling deep inside. It lingers, it bleeds, it calls for attention, it needs release.

I believe no one should suffer the torture of being in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Everyone deserves to be happy. But to be happy, it has to start with oneself. To be truly happy, one has to have a change of mind and of heart.

There is always a choice, you can choose to stay as miserable as you can for the longest time. Or, you can choose to give it up, and charge it to experience. Which would it be?

I am a person who hates being miserable. I don't like the feeling of helplessness, on the brink of losing my mind, or sleepness nights, of having no appetites. It's pathetic. It's no fun.

So in the end, everything will depend on oneself. The love you share should be shared back. Love is not a one way street. Tango cannot be danced alone. It always takes two. So love someone you are sure to love you back.

In the meantime, turn the heartache into something creative, sing, dance, paint a picture, take a photo, do something to ease the pain. Make yourself beautiful, work out, go have a haircut, have some highlights, treat yourself in a spa. Relax. Enjoy the company of friends. His friends (kidding).

I heard once, the best veangeance to a fooled heart is to make yourself available to another.
And the best revenge to the one who hurt you? Make sure when he sees you, he will see someone who is strong, who stood up, moved on, blooming and HAPPY.


Monday, December 11, 2006

A Photo Session 4










photography by Gymratz

Twelve Gayly Christmas


I saw this in one of the threads in an all guys site.....I laught out load...sing it with me!


On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me, a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the third day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the fourth day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the fifth day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the sixth day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the seventh day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, seven daddies slurping, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the eight day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, eight tops a-pumping, seven daddies slurping, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the ninth day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, nine bottoms gaping, eight tops a-pumping, seven daddies slurping, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the tenth day of Chistmas my true love sent to m
e, ten masters whipping, nine bottoms gaping, eight tops a-pumping, seven daddies slurping, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the eleventh day of Chistmas my true love sent to me, eleven slaves a-milking, ten masters whipping, nine bottoms gaping, eight tops a-pumping, seven daddies slurping, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiings...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!... four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube, and a voyuer spying from a pear tree...

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to meeeeeeeee...

Twelve fabs after-glowiiiiiing...Cum cum cum! Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum cum!

Eleven slaves a-milking gay-ly...Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum cum!

Ten masters whipping gay-ly, nine bottoms gaping gay-ly...

Eight tops a-pumping, seven daddies slurping, six twinks a-jerking, five cock riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings!!! Pump! Ram! Cum cum cum cum!

Four call boys, three butt plugs, two tubes of lube...


And a voyuer spying from a peaaaaaaaaaaaar tree...ee..ee...ee!!!


(by Antonino)

'Tis The Season

It's Christmas time...there are a lot of good Christmas memories that comes with the season.
I, for one have my own collection of memories.

Tall Christmas tree, in our living room full of decorations of gold and silver balls.
Angels, mistletoes and bright Christmas lights. I love to stay late and just sit by the Christmas tree when I was a kid and just stare at the beauty and dazzle of the tree. Gifts under the tree that I can't wait to open. Guessing what's inside.

I also believe in Santa Claus, when I was a kid, my siblings and I would hang our socks, and literally our socks, on the window hoping that Santa would pass by and leave some candy canes or a toy that each one of us wished so hard for. I even tried once to stay up late just to catch a glimpse of the big red man and his shiny-nosed reindeer. But I always fell asleep.
The next morning, there was some candies in our socks, which my siblings and I scrampled for. But I noticed that the candies were the exact same candies we buy at the store owned by one of our neighbors. (Thanks to mom!) But kids are kids!

The festive and sumptuous dinner my mom would prepare during Christmas eve; roasted chicken, sweet ham, "menudo", cold cuts, cakes and pastries, and hot chocolate drink. I miss most at Christmas is my dad. I wish he was still around. He would go home from his duty as a policeman jsut before the stroke of midnight Christmas eve and as one family we would sit around the dinner table and together enjoy the Christmas dinner.

For us kids, Christmas was the happiest time of the year. Because come Christmas day we would go to our grandma's place and would receive gifts from our uncles and aunts, and boy!
We have 8 uncles and aunts...just imagine...8 gifts!

But we have to grow up. Christmas becomes just a day. The magic of the Christmas spirit starts to fade away. We face the reality. Christmas is just for kids. Christmas shopping has become a nuisance and a headache.

One has to reach deeply cause Christmas is not just gifts...for me Christmas is family and friendship. It is togetherness. It is a feeling of peace and contentment in our hearts. Of love and warm embraces. Of missing and making up. Of laughters and happy tears.

Christmas is good feelings. Christmas is all about love.

That's why I still am excited when Christmas comes. I still love to guess what's inside the gifts under the tree. I feel like a kid. I still sit by the tree in my living room and watch the twinkling lights until I feel sleepy and dream of more good things to come for my family and friends.

Happy Holidays!

A Photo Session 3









photography by Gymratz

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Gay Cartoons




I am always on a lookout for gay cartoons, I forgot where I downloaded these but I find 'em really cool, don't you think?

Underwear Fetish


I love underwears.
I find them the sexiest clothing a man can ever wear.
Honestly.


There is that feeling that you cannot really describe.

Sexy? Manly? Good feeling? Bliss? Proud? Naughty?

A mixture of emotions.

A pair of underwear can make or break an moment of sexual tension.
A good pair of underwear can bring you to an unforgetable experience
and a wrong pair can lead you to despair.

I love underwears.
It does not matter what kind or what color,
it is the feeling when you are wearing them.
I am always in my underwear when I am at home.
I walk around in them.
I feel sexy.
I feel good.


How do you feel?
You want me to wear your favorite underwear and see me in them?

Send it to me.

There's A Fine, Fine Line

Someone send this song lyrics to me, it's from the musical Avenue Q, a broadway hit.
This is very nice.

There's A Fine, Fine Line

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

And I don't have the time to waste on you anymore.
I don't think that you even know what you're looking for.
For my own sanity, I've got to close the door
And walk away...
Oh...

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

Friday, December 08, 2006

My Incubus

I have an encounter with an Incubus.
He is not of the demonic kind though, although, I wish he would ravage me in bed, but he did ravaged my mind.
He is kind, full of wisdom, conversant and quick kitted.
.
More of an Angel he is, well, an Incubi IS a fallen angel so the lore goes.


He makes me think of a lot of things.
Made me realize that there is so much in me.
Or to do.

He woke up something in me that I never thought of re-living.
He stirred my sleeping spirit.
He touched my soul.
He opened a door.

He is not physically present, like any Incubi, all I have is a voice.
A voice the sends shivers all over my body.
A voice that reaches within.
A voice that lingers in my mind.
A voice that inspires and encourages.

A voice the tells what is right and wrong.
A voice that challenges.
A voice that soothes.

Like a dream, at night I would hear his voice.
Half awake and half asleep I will hear him speak.
Of life and love, past and future.
Of heart and soul and spirit.

He laughs, and I can feel a smile.
I am happy. I feel safe.
I am not alone.

My Incubus, my Angel.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Love Is An Oxymoron

Nothing...

Love is sadly funny. It is one big oxymoron. You can say everything about it, turn it upside down, still it is true. Isn't it obscure? But it is clear.

It is a joy to be in love. It is lonely to be in love. You can't understand but you understood.
No reason. Many reasons. You give up, but you go on. It is painful to be in love. But it is fine.

Shit, what is it all about?

I have a friend, he used to say, "Love is only for stupid people."
I laughed, because his standing is of laude, but there comes a time, he fell deeply in love. There goes another stupid.

Everything that love touches also becomes oxymoron. Or sometimes, becomes a moron.

Because love cannot be simply turned upside down. Everything can be turned up side down by love. All strong people, become weak. The proud can be meek. Those who don't care, becomes Mother Theresa.

The genius ran out of answers. The lonely are made happy. The tough can be softened (and the things that are soft usually become hard.)

It is funny really. Especially when it comes to a person who gives up love.
I noticed like when you want to fall in love again, you just say the magic words "I don't want to fall in love again!" Then, WACHA! Love comes. Annoyingly. Yet you let yourself be annoyed.

Isn't it funny too that when it comes to problem of others you are so good in giving advices?
But when it is your problem every advice you gave to someone is worthless?

You thought, there isn't any wrong with any of those advices. But how come all of them isn't right?
Also those who were struck by the arrow of love spoke of oxymorons.

"Now I know. I 've always known. It great to live. I can die. Now!

Not only that, it is nice to have fun with people who knows that they will suffer pain yet still will jump from the high cliff of love. Then, when their heart is wounded, bruised and broken, of course, it is not their fault. "It's him. Why did he hurt me?" with matching striking a wall with his fist and slamming of the door.

Oh my.

I can spend the rest of the day thinking and talking funny things about love. Many times I've met love and I can say that I am an expert. But still I know nothing about it.

But the most funny thing is the truth that when you want to laugh at love, wager everything you have because surely the punchline is still you.

Isn't it funny? Nope...

It's sad.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Sleep My Love

tulog na mahal ko (sleep my love)

hayaan na muna natin ang mundong ito (let's forget about this world)
lika na, tulog na tayo. (come, let's sleep)
tulog na mahal ko (sleep my love)
wag kang lumuha, malambot ang iyong kama (don't shed your tears, the bed is soft)
saka na mamroblema (let us worry later)

tulog na hayaan na muna natin sila (sleep, let's leave them for a while)
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan (later, they won't be able to harm you)
kung matulog, matulog ka na…(sleep, you sleep)

tulog na mahal ko (sleep my love)
nandito lang akong bahala sa iyo (i'm here, i'll take care of you)
sige na, tulog na muna (please, sleep for a while)

tulog na mahal ko (sleep my love)
at baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas (maybe tomorrow you'll smile at last)
at sabay natin haharapin ang mundo (and together we'll face the world)

tulog na hayaan na muna natin sila (sleep, let's leave them for awhile)
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan (later, they won't be able to harm you)
kung matulog, matulog ka na…(sleep, you sleep)

hanggang makatulog ka (until you sleep)

(i might lose the thought in translation, forgive me.)

World Aids Day - December 1

Here's a clip I find cute and fun on how to prevent AIDS...it has a story line that tells, a loving partner is still one of the best way to prevent AIDS.

At the same time, to all guys out there...be SAFE.

Enjoy!