On Loving and Lies

What do you do when you fall for someone and you thought the feeling is mutual?
When you were showed the world, the reason for being in love, for giving you hope of a wonderful future and found out that all is one big lie.

You fall. Big time!

It's as if your heart was literally ripped out of your chest, thrown on the ground and stepped on, chrushed and left to bleed.

Hatred? Anger? Miserable?

You try to reason, you find it hard to move on. Why? Because you gave everything, time, money, emotions, feelings, and love. One way.

But for what? For finding out that you are cheated? A friendly thoughtfulness you misinterpreted? Was it your fault?

Everyday, you cry, you lose yourself. You are going crazy.

Sometimes I find it funny, really. I am a person who moves on as soon as I stop crying. As soon as I realized tomorrow it will just me alone. I move on. I go on living. My world did not stop when I am rejected; when I am left behind.

I pull myself together, pick up what's left of me and try to move on.
Still hurting, yes, still thinking about the pain. Can't bear to see the person. You feel like giving in again to the slightest thoughtfulness. It's all crap.

It might sound so easy to do. Yes, I know it's not. YOU MAKE IT NOT EASY!
It's just a matter of perspective. It's just a matter or choice.
I know love is like a double-edged sword. Sharp, cuts both ways. We can't deny that feeling deep inside. It lingers, it bleeds, it calls for attention, it needs release.

I believe no one should suffer the torture of being in love with someone who doesn't love you back. Everyone deserves to be happy. But to be happy, it has to start with oneself. To be truly happy, one has to have a change of mind and of heart.

There is always a choice, you can choose to stay as miserable as you can for the longest time. Or, you can choose to give it up, and charge it to experience. Which would it be?

I am a person who hates being miserable. I don't like the feeling of helplessness, on the brink of losing my mind, or sleepness nights, of having no appetites. It's pathetic. It's no fun.

So in the end, everything will depend on oneself. The love you share should be shared back. Love is not a one way street. Tango cannot be danced alone. It always takes two. So love someone you are sure to love you back.

In the meantime, turn the heartache into something creative, sing, dance, paint a picture, take a photo, do something to ease the pain. Make yourself beautiful, work out, go have a haircut, have some highlights, treat yourself in a spa. Relax. Enjoy the company of friends. His friends (kidding).

I heard once, the best veangeance to a fooled heart is to make yourself available to another.
And the best revenge to the one who hurt you? Make sure when he sees you, he will see someone who is strong, who stood up, moved on, blooming and HAPPY.