I Met A Guy

I met a guy, he is a perfect guy, for me anyway. Kind, cool, handsome, stable, "naughty," and nice.

We have had some good times together in a short period of time.

I had fun, I had enjoyed every moment. Just to send him a simple message everyday makes me happy.

I like him very much. SO much.

But he has an issue.
BIGTIME!

He is still in love with his former beau.
And is waiting for some clue, or some divine intervention, a miracle, an honest to goodness positive response or sign of a reconciliation. So he had me wait. He is not ready for another a this moment. But he admitted he is a serial dater. (Ironically.)

Wait I did, patiently. Never pressuring, never questioning, just trying to understand.
Messages after messages everyday.

"Good morning, how are you?"
"Hi, have a nice day!"
"Hope your day is great!"
"Hope your day will turn out ok."
"Good night!"
"Take care!"

Come to think of it. He never message me, first.
But it was ok.
Shit!

I was a fool to believe in all these things. I was a fool to hold on to that hope. All I want is someone special to be with.

Until he found a reason. He found a reason to say not to bother him anymore. I was devastated. I tried to find the reason why. I am just being myself. Is that wrong?

I had gone through a lot in my life. Only now that I am enjoying the payoff. I was an ugly ducking. The insecurities and the humiliation from the past is so gone and I am happy the way I am now.
He did not understand that. He will never understand that.

A friend told me, why I react this way when we do not have something or anything to hold on to in the first place.

Ironically, I saw it coming. But I was just a fool. Really. Who wouldn't? When you get to like someone so much. You hang on to that one thought that one day, one day it will finally come true.

It strike me, hard as if a sledgehammer hit me on the head!

It took me awhile. I was quite unhappy.

But suddenly I felt I was set free. My heart is free.
I woke up from the dream that this guy is the "guy."
Now,this guy, this guy, no matter how charming and beautiful he is, is just a guy.

Goodbye, hello. I should have known better.