Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Mr. Gay Philippines


Hi guys, I have been busy with a lot of activities these days, juggling work and a new and exciting activity.

I joined the search for Mr. Gay Philippines and I am having the time of my life being one of the finalist.

We have photoshoots, press conference, fittings, personality training, a visit to the dermatoligist and lots of other fun and enjoyable activities.

I am a restless spirit and always on the look out for something to bring excitement and fun memories in my life. Joing this contest though is not easy for we have to project a positive image of the gay community, especially the Filipino gay community.

There are a lot of stereotypes and we will represent the other side of the spectrum, the straight acting gay men. However, this does not mean the other stereotypes will be excluded, but rather the winner will represent what a gay Filipino man is and how he will let the world acknowledge this.

The winner will be sent to L.A. USA to compete with the rest of the world for the Mr. Gay International Search.

I am no. 06 among the 21 candidates and hopefully I end up among the top. For I'd like to be the voice of my gay Filipino brothers and tell the world that we are one and the same, but with a twist, for Filipino gay men are the most loving, caring, and talented men in the world, right?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

We Belong Together - Mariah Carey

When you left I lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe, Come back baby please
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place, There ain't nobody better
We belong together




Only One You

Only one you
by John Fischer

Mister Rogers was right after all: There is only one you. But this information is much more important than to just be boosting your self-esteem. It is to help you better serve others by being more confident about your God-given role in life.

No one else fits your shape. No one else has your blend of gifts, talents, and natural abilities – making you very important in the whole scheme of things. “God made our bodies with many parts,” wrote Paul, “and he has put each part just where he wants it.” (1 Corinthians 12:18) And as it is with the human body, so it is with the Body of Christ – the corporate collection of all who believe.

But this uniqueness goes beyond giftedness; it reaches as well into the depth of each of our experiences in life. No one else has your life. No one else has your pain, your hardship, your joys and sorrows. Everything in life shapes us and we are shaped by everything for a reason – so that we can touch others in a unique way based upon who we are and what we’ve been through. God doesn’t waste anything in our lives.

Every piece of our lives and experiences can be used of Christ to touch someone else. We were made for each other; we live for each other; we even die for each other. We die with hope so that others who live might see the reality of Christ in even the darkest of hours. God uses everything.

Are you just getting by, or are you living for a reason? Think about your unique gifts and ask yourself how those gifts are benefiting others. What specific way is God using you to touch others in the Body of Christ? Do you seem to have an extra measure of wisdom, or mercy, or discernment, or knowledge, or administration, or desire to serve? These will help determine how you can look for opportunities to help others.

And then think about the things you have gone through so far in your life – especially the difficult or challenging things where God has met you with his presence and power. That information is not just for you, it’s for you to empathize with and encourage others who have encountered similar struggles.

God isn’t messing around here. There are no accidents with our lives. Whatever we have received and experienced has shaped who we are, and because of that, we are qualified servants. There is truly no one else like you … for a reason.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentines Day!

It is great to be in love, to love and be loved. But always remember how love should be.
This is my favorite Bible Verse and I hope everyone agrees with me.


Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the t ruth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - 1 Corinthians 13:1-13




Monday, February 12, 2007

A Photo Session 10






photography by Kargador

Cry - Mandy Moore

I'll always remember, it was late afternoon,
It lasted forever, but ended so soon...



A Walk To Remember


There are a few movies that really touched my heart. I haven't read the book by Nicholas Sparks but saw the movie version of his novel, A Walk To Remember.

A teeny-bopper movie really, but it has its lessons. A love story between a happy-go-lucky boy and a nerdy girl whom is always the laughing stock of the school. But what they don't know is the the girl (played by Mandy Moore) has this inner peace within her and accepted her fate wholeheartedly. She is sick and dying of leukemia.

Well the boy fell in love with her despite the fact his friends turned their backs on him for doing so. Because the girl made him feel like there is something good in him, he can be the best he can be and to go on following him dreams. She inspired him.

There were lots of sweet moments, like the girl has a list of "to do" things before she goes and one by one the boy makes them all come true. Until the girl told him the truth which devastates the boy (played by Shane West, by the way). So angry was the boy because now that his life is getting better, he's going to lose the one person who made it so.

But he reconciled with his dad who left him and his mom. He learned to forgive and let his anger subsides to the people who hurted him. He got faith. He learned to accept his girlfriends fate and did the best he could to make her remaining life a good one.

She is not afraid to die, only scared to leave the guy behind.
She has no reason to get angry with God, but now she has.
But both of them find consolation in each other's love for one another. They even got married.

I love movies that inspires. My tears fell on one scene when the boy came to his father's place, crying, when the dad opened the door, he just stood there crying and the father came near and they hugged, tight, while the boy kept saying sorry.

A poignant movie of young love and the power it has in changing people's lives.
the girl's last on the list was to witness a miracle. This one was a difficult task for the boy to do and was saddened when the girl pased away without seeing that miracle. But the father of the girl told the boy after four years, when the boy is already in college and in medschool. That the miracle the girl had been waiting for indeed came true. It was the boy. It was him. Because his life was changed and that indeed was a miracle.

Plus the soundstrack is realy good. Sang by Mandy Moore herself, Only Hope and Cry.

I'm a hopeless romantic though some say the movie is simple, but that's not really it. It is always the message, the feelings, the emotions you get and feel which for me is a great movie.
A Walk To Remember.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Push The Button - Sugarbabes


Yeah, if you're ready for me boy,
You better push the button and let me know
before I get the wrong idea and go...


A Photo Session 9






photography by Kargador

Affirmation - Savage Garden

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your unhappiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

I Remember The Boy, But I Don't Remember The Feeling

If you loved a guy and share with him your life for quite sometime. What happens when the relationship ends?

I remember the very first time. It's as if he was your whole world.
I remember the times when we both struggle from day to day.
Sharing what little we have. But that doesn't matter because all you knew was you are happy sharing the hard times together.

And the good times are a blast.
But things started to change. I may never change things, the hurts and the pains. But I loved, and never gave up. I never gave up.

Soon it was over. Now as I look back, it still haunts me, I can still remember, but I don't want to feel this way again. So today I will still remember, but only the boy and never the feelings anymore.

I remember the boy...

Today I heard them play the song again, an old familiar strain from way back when. Every note and every line, has always been a favorite song of mine.
It used to hunt me so some years ago, reminds me of a boy I used to know. And although the melody lives on, the memories and the boy are all but gone.

So while the song still brings that certain glow and world still sings of love I know.
It isn't quite the way it was before. I remember the boy, but I don't remember the feeling anymore.

The promises we made seemed easier then, as if we knew our love would never end. But seasons change and time erases the tears as swiftly as the rivers disappear.

I remember the boy, but I don't remember the feeling.
I remember the boy, but I don't remember the feeling, anymore.

The ABC Of Me

A - Anything goes as long as it is fun and worth trying for.
B - Better Person - am trying to be the better person in any situation.
C - Care too much, sometimes I do and they took advantage.
D - Devil in me, careful though, it might come out and hurt you.
E - Ego, I do have mine. I am human, but I keep it inside a box, inside a drawer, locked inside my head.
F - Friendships, that I value so much. I have but a few, but I will treasure them forever.
G - Good days, I long for. I always look forward to good days, no matter how bad today is.
H - Hope, that everything will be alright in the end. It's what keeps me going and what motivates me to take risks.
I - I am what I am. Love me or hate me.
J - Justice. I would love to see justice served at all circumstances, to be fair and equal, despite the status, appearance and personality.
K - Kindness. Being nice is a blessing, but to be kind is godly.
L - Love. Encompasses everything there is worth living for.
M - Memories. I am sentimental. I am fond of remembering moments especially if that moment brought out the best in me.
N - Nice, I like nice people. In a world full of shit, nice people are always a blessing.
O - Out, I am out, to my family and friends.
P - Passionate. I am a passionate person both with relationship and whatever I put my mind into.
Q - Quiet. I tend to be quiet, especially when I am mad, hurting and lonesome.
R - Rest. Working hard pay the bills and buy good things. But resting is priceless, don't hesitate whenever you get the chance. Life is to be savoured not laboured.
S - Sex. Ain't it a great thing?
T - Trust. Not the rubber, but the real thing. It's is a peace of mind over someone and something.
U - Us. Always us. Together, never you or I. Together is better than being alone.
V - Vanity, my favorite sin.
W - Waste. There's no sense in regretting wasted time and effort when you had the chance to choose wisely on that particular moment.
X - XXX, my hobby. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Y - Yahweh, God, the Creator should always be first in everything we do.
Z - Zzzzz. After all this...another favorite hobby...sleeping, and I wish with someone to hug.

Monday, February 05, 2007

A Photo Session 8





photography by Tronks

Hey Mr. DJ Put The Record On

I always loved Madonna's music and who hasn't? Since the early eighties until the millienium, she stood strong and going. Her music still catches attention and fans all over the world. I have had my fair share of collection and I never fail to listen to them, even once in a while.

One dance tune "Music" though I like listening to it, had somehow got more meaning into it. Not only because of its catchy beat and nice lyrics but because of an experience that I will never, ever, ever forget.


"Hey, Mr. DJ, put the record on I wanna dance with my baby..." The first line goes. I met a long time crush in person in a disco bar, he was, you got it, a DJ. No names, I'd like to preserve the memory in my mind, for as long as I can. Forever that is.

You know how it feels like when you have a crush? You get shy, quiet, and you blush. I bet I blushed when we were introduced, but the disco bar was dark and the only light were coming from some spotlight reflected on the mirror ball, and the loud music made us talk to each other's ear. (You can't imagine how my heart beats twice as fast everytime I had to talk to his ear).


A lady friend introduced us unintentionally, and I had to check my pulse every now and then, I can't seemed to breathe, my head is reeling. We talked for a bit and then he asked me to dance. Our lady friend left us when I whispered to her that the guy was my ultimate crush. She laughed and said, "well, good luck!"


We danced the whole night, we held hands when we went to the bar and treat me to another pitcher of my favorite drink. We held hands when we went to the restroom together. We found a corner and danced in the dark. Our bodies, getting closer and closer, our faces closer too. We talked, check each other out every now and then if everything was still ok. We stared at each other's eyes. Then I closed mine and danced, I just felt the music controlling me. I felt my heartbeat. My mind was swirling, I am tipsy too. When I opened them, and wished he was still looking at me, he was, at the same time, smiling at me. Oh, that eyes. It burned my soul.

Suddenly the world stopped. It was only me and him. I moved my head closer to his, closer, closer, eyes still locked on each other. I closed my eyes once again and I felt his lips onto mine.
A kiss. My knees shook. I had to hold onto him. I enclosed my arms around his waist and he did the same. We kissed. I sucked his lips, so soft, I tasted his mouth, I lightly sucked his tongue, my breathing erratic. I can't hear a thing, believe me.

The music went silent, I can't see the crowd. I only saw him right there in front of me.
Then it was over, our lips parted, the noise came back, the roaring crowd was there again. He smiled and that's all it took for me to assure that everything was not a dream. That I am really there, in the corner, with a great guy, the person whom I had the BIGGEST CRUSH, and dancing the night away.

I told our lady friend, I could die! She laughed of course, ha, ha, ha! I was kidding. I told her too that I will remember the moment for the rest of my life. She said, that it was too much, and laughed again.


Nevertheless, I had one very special moment. I could never replace that in my heart and in my mind. The feeling, the heartbeat, the kiss, the moment the world stopped for me, the very first time I felt the world stopped for me. The very first time my knees shook upon kissing a guy and I will remember, will always remember for the rest of my life.

"Music, makes the people, come together, yeah!"

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Feeling Good Today

I am feeling good today.
I am feeling good about myself today.

Thanks to some people who are there to boost up my self-confidence.
Thanks to some people who takes the time to make me feel good about myself.


Thank God I am still here.
Thank you Ma. I'll make you proud of me one day.
Thanks to friends, always there when you need them.

To the incubus that comes to haunt me at night. That filled my mind with thoughts and induces my imagination.

Thank you to fate. Thank you to the opportunities.
I believe in leap of faith. So whatever I do, its always a leap of faith. Provided my heart is the one leading me.

For the Bible says, "The eternal God is your refuge, And underneath are the everlasting arms...(Deuteronomy 33:27)." Whatever happens, God will never abandon me.

So I will try not to worry much. Leave it to heavens to direct me and show me the way.
There is always a way.
Always.

I might be feeling down, but only because I have to contemplate. Soon the dark clouds will disappear and the sun will come out shining.

What the hell I am talking about?

I am just feeling good today.

A Photo Session 7






photography by Kargador

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Maybe My Heart Told Your Heart

Just want to share with you...since it's the Love Month...one of my favorite poem..


Maybe my heart told your heart
It had a parking space outside
Or that we both like taking walks
And doing things at night

Maybe our hearts have the same favorite colors
And found each other that way
Or maybe it was because they both like sunshine best
And always tell the summer to stay

Maybe your heart sent my heart a secret message
That said "I've been waiting for you, let's go!"
Or maybe when it comes to things like these

There aren't reasons
Hearts just know

I'm glad we found each other

By Ashley

I really feel in love and light headed whenever I read this poem. I find it so sweet, simple and yet I can feel the warmth and the romance. I don't know really...I'm beginning to think this is my most favorite poem.