Thursday, November 30, 2006

A Boy And A Man

'Twas a love between two beings. A boy and a man.


Imagine the pureness of it. The innocence and the strength.
The man and the boy, heart and soul, entwined and one.


Manly arms enclosing a fragile body, strong yet ever so gently. The boy is home, secure and warm. The man ever so proud and caring.


The union of bodies in a state of bliss. Heaven. Lips unto each other's bodies. Touching gently, slowly, as if trying to search for any flaws, which were none.


Lips to lips, biting, tongue, wet and watery.
Eyes on each other, never blinking, a longing stare, passionate and overwhelming.
Hands reaching for each others manliness. Hard, ready, waiting.


Body to body, manly and young, in rhythm, in rhyme.
Burning, melting and ravaging. Groans and moans of deep feelings unleashed.
The man inside the boy, a fleeting pain of joy, a tender emotion revealed, slowly, slowly.
Boy and man, man and boy, one and the same. Breathing in and breathing out.
Staring in each other's eyes, whispering affections.


A moment of rage, fast and hard; a moment of delirium, a moment when there is just the man and the boy in the world of their own.


Finally, ecstacy, flowing gushes of love and passion. Of heat and desire. Of wildness and calm. A release, a glimpse of heaven and paradise. Breathless and wonder.


Affection, caresses, sweet kisses.
Smiles, assuring stares of heaven, home, of oneness, of love.


A boy and a man.

Dave Benbow - MALE MODEL

Once upon a time I was browsing in a bookstore and I came upon a book. The cover itself is enough to catch my attention, showing a torso of a hunky guy. So I flipped through its pages and found out that it is a gay fiction.
I am always on a lookout for gay books here in my country. They are a rarity. Only once in a while I'd find one or two stashed in the most hidden part or the lowest part of a shelf...and under the PSYCHOLOGY SECTION! As if! Mostly self-help books like how to deal with being gay or the like. In the fiction category, it's like looking for a needle in a hay stack. But there is this bookstore called POWERBOOKS that is a bit gay friendly and have them.
Ok, where was I? Ok..the author is DAVE BENBOW. The title is MALE MODEL. Here's the synopsis
:

Designing window displays for the glamorous Cameron Fuller USA store on Rodeo Drive is Blake Jackson’s passion. After all, handsome, elegant designer Cameron Fuller is an icon of chic style. With his Vogue-thin wife, Suzette, he’s one-half of “America’s Couple.” But their relationship is like one of the store’s many displays: luxurious, beautiful, and completely for show…

Blake is completely unprepared to meet Cameron in the flesh-or to have him help with a last minute window change during a surprise visit to the store late one night. Working side by side, the two men experience an overpowering attraction, and soon, they’re engaged in a whirlwind secret affair, played out on private planes, in New York penthouses, behind office doors and in a remote Hawaiian beach house.

In need of a fresh look to launch his new cologne, Cameron finds it in his lover’s chiseled cheekbones, ice-blue eyes, long, dark hair and hunky, six-pack abs. Within weeks, Blake’s gone from shop-boy to poster god. A billboard of him romping in the California surf wearing only a pair of skin-tight leather lowriders stops traffic in Times Square and Hollywood. Suddenly he’s the “it” boy, wanted and feted from coast to coast, yet having to keep his feelings for Cameron in the shadows. But someone is unhappy about Blake’s sudden rise to fame, and the growing love between the designer and his model…someone who knows their secrets…someone determined to make them pay dearly. And as the days tick down until the celebrity-packed party that will launch Blake’s star, it’s clear that the only way Cameron and Black can hold on to what they have is to let go of everything else…

And when I read it, oh and ah, it was very very cool! A love story between men, the trials they've undergone and how they triumph in love and success. What more can I ask for? Together with all the drama and the suspence.
The thrill, the hidden twists and turns...it's like watching a soap opera.

Needless to say, I became a fan and I looked him up in the net and found his site, and sent a fan mail. I told him how much I love his story and that I am hoping find other books he wrote and would gladly buy them and read them.
He did not disappoint a fan. He replied and said thank you and how much he appreciates the email and all. Then he is into acting too, he appeared in Days of Our Lives and The Young and The Restless.
The next thing I know he asked for my address and after a month, I received a package! I was dumbfounded, I was speechless. I hurriedly opened them up when I saw it came from MR. DAVE BENBOW himself! Inside where the other books he wrote. DAYTIME DRAMA and a collection of stories together with other authors.
WOW! WOW! WOW!
I emailed him again and I told him I can't thank him enough! He was such a cool guy sending me those books. ME! They're now my prized possessions and have read them all by heart countless of times. Literally.
And isn't he the handsomest too?

Dave Benbow

A Cold And A Preparation

I'm still having a cold, together with once in a while coughing, the duo seems to get the most out of me. I feel sick. But I have to fight this of or I would succumb to helplessness.

I really hate having a cold...I'd rather have the flu. I can't sleep straight at night, I can't breathe, and sometimes I have to breath through my mouth which is not very comfortable.

Oh, well. (Sigh.)

I also have to really work out this week until the next. I have another photoshoot from another guy who completes the trio of photographer/hobbyist that is so sought after in the all male thread I am a member of.

I feel privileged to be photographed by them. One can see each has their own unique style of setting the mood for sensuality. One is intense, the other will start slow, the last is fleeting...you'll know what I meant when I had my shoot on the 10th of December. Then I will post all three shots taken by the Three and you tell me what do you feel when you look at them.

Oh my runny nose is a nuisance. I really hate having a cold.

My Dream Guys

I came upon this picture, and my heart leaped...these are the four guys I dreamt of! He! He! He! ALL IN ONE PICTURE. These are my all time favorite guys!
They are all BEL-AMI models/actors, namely Lucas Ridgestone, Sebastian Bonnet, Julian Armanis and Johan Paulik!
I fell in love with these guys the first time I saw them in Frisky Summer Series. Whew! I was blown away...then there's the Personal Trainer Series...OMG!
Talk about infatuation, just imagine me in one room, with these four guys? I might reach seventh heaven just standing there! LOL!
They're forever be in my heart, these guys, they have given me a lot of happy nights and wonderful dreams. Not to mention inspire me in a lot of ways.


Lucas Ridgestone

Sebastian Bonnet

Julian Armanis

Johan Paulik




Best Male Blogs Entry

I recently registered my blog at Best Male Blogs, which is like a gay blog directory. Please feel free to rate and write a review of my blog at the page below:

http://www.bestmaleblogs.com/home.php?page=stats&id=126




Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A Date

I am not feeling well today...probably because I think I'm going to catch a cold...how ironic when I still get a full does of vitamins, and healthy foods everyday. We'll I heard there is really no cure for the common cold.

Anyway, it has been a nice weekend that happen. I went out for the first time after a long time. A friend literally dragged me out and took me to another city for an evening of fun.

We went and oh, I am glad I did. I met a lot of new people there...all men...all gorgeous and nice men. We went to a bar called Blue Butterfly Bar or BBB. It was a gathering of men who were members of an all male site. I have been messaging with these men over the all male site and know them by their profile name. At last, now I know the men behind their profiles. It was nice. My friend introduced me to one guy after another.

I find a cozy spot the the window while a guy is singing his heart out over the Karaoke. I drank a Coke Light and move my eyes around. I observed these men. Some were discreet by day and themselves by night. Men, of all shapes and sizes, background, experiences, jobs...doctors, lawyers, teachers, agents, etc. with one thing in common. All love other men.

It was really a great night. Until I spotted one guy outside. It was too crowded inside the bar that some men are at front gathering by groups, busy with chit chat andhaving some fun too.
This guy, I caught him looking at me. At first I thought he was just familiarizing himself with someone he knows. Then he smiled. I turn around because it was my cue to sing.

Then, when I turn back at the window, I caught him looking at me again. And I played around, I try not to lose our eye to eye connection and he bought it. We keep on glancing at each other only from time to time when someone tries to talk to us be broke our stare.

To make it short, I never knew the guy. Sad. My friend and went home at about 2 am and he's still there, as if waiting for the moment to come near me and I too. But it never came.

I slept thinking about him and the chance that I let pass by.

Two days after, I saw a message from my account in the all male site. And I don't know who was it. The profile name is not familiar so I opened it. My heart leaped, it was HIM! It's good that each profile is accompanied by a picture and yes it was him with his message of "Hello" AND HE WAS ONLINE. So I hurriedly reply and waited. It was not in vain, the notifier popped out and announced that I had a new message.

The first hello went into a conversation, how that night we felt the same. He has crush on me and too bad there wasn't a chance for a meeting. I told him I felt the same.

We exchange numbers and the next day...exchange messages...and tomorrow...we have a date.
What happens next?

You have to wait and see my dear friends.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Someone Who'll Watch Over Me


There's a saying old says that love is blind
Still we're often told "seek and ye shall find"

So I'm going to seek a certain man I've had in mind


Looking everywhere, haven't found him yet

He's the big affair I cannot forget

Only man I ever think of will regret


I'd like to add his initial to my monogram

Tell me where's the shepherd for this lost lamb


There's a somebody I'm longing to see

I hope that he turns out to be

Someone who'll watch over me

I'm a little lamb who's lost in a wood

I know I could always be good

To one who'll watch over me

Although he may not the man some men think of

As handsome to my heart

He carries the key

Won't you tell him please to put on some speed

Follow my lead, oh how I need

Someone to watch over me
Someone to watch over me

Thursday, November 23, 2006

A Photo Session 2







photography by Blueraven

I Met A Guy

I met a guy, he is a perfect guy, for me anyway. Kind, cool, handsome, stable, "naughty," and nice.

We have had some good times together in a short period of time.

I had fun, I had enjoyed every moment. Just to send him a simple message everyday makes me happy.

I like him very much. SO much.

But he has an issue.
BIGTIME!

He is still in love with his former beau.
And is waiting for some clue, or some divine intervention, a miracle, an honest to goodness positive response or sign of a reconciliation. So he had me wait. He is not ready for another a this moment. But he admitted he is a serial dater. (Ironically.)

Wait I did, patiently. Never pressuring, never questioning, just trying to understand.
Messages after messages everyday.

"Good morning, how are you?"
"Hi, have a nice day!"
"Hope your day is great!"
"Hope your day will turn out ok."
"Good night!"
"Take care!"

Come to think of it. He never message me, first.
But it was ok.
Shit!

I was a fool to believe in all these things. I was a fool to hold on to that hope. All I want is someone special to be with.

Until he found a reason. He found a reason to say not to bother him anymore. I was devastated. I tried to find the reason why. I am just being myself. Is that wrong?

I had gone through a lot in my life. Only now that I am enjoying the payoff. I was an ugly ducking. The insecurities and the humiliation from the past is so gone and I am happy the way I am now.
He did not understand that. He will never understand that.

A friend told me, why I react this way when we do not have something or anything to hold on to in the first place.

Ironically, I saw it coming. But I was just a fool. Really. Who wouldn't? When you get to like someone so much. You hang on to that one thought that one day, one day it will finally come true.

It strike me, hard as if a sledgehammer hit me on the head!

It took me awhile. I was quite unhappy.

But suddenly I felt I was set free. My heart is free.
I woke up from the dream that this guy is the "guy."
Now,this guy, this guy, no matter how charming and beautiful he is, is just a guy.

Goodbye, hello. I should have known better.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Twins


I found my long lost twin...lol!

Tomorrow

I was on my way to work riding a minibus, listening to music crooning through the speakers underneath my seat. A normal ride on a Monday morning. Then I saw something up ahead. Before I realized what it was, it flashed in my mind as something terribly wrong - out of place- distorted.

An overturned car - I could see it now. An ambulance screamed somewhere back. I felt like someone had pushed a fist into my stomach. Directing traffic around the accident, a highway patrolman briskly motioned on the crawling line of vehicles. I got too close for a look at the overturned vehicle. The scene hangs in my mind...the bystanders staring in open-mouthed disbelief. I did not see any body being dragged out of the car though.

Such a warm and good Monday. The day was bright and filled with so much anticipation. But for the passenger of that ill-fated car, that moment the world flipped - violently, crazily, fatally - upside down. What appeared to be another day of "fun-'n-games" became a day of infamous calamity. Naturally, I wondered if the victim knew God - if he could smile at eternity. My pulse shot up and I vaguely remember a Bible verse which I am a reader a few years back:

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring." - something like that. (I found it again, Proverbs 27:1)

Man's knowledge seems impressive - awesome. We can split atoms, we can build skyscrapers, transplant body organs, program computers, explore and explain outer space and even unknot the problems of ecology. But when it comes to "tomorrow," our knowledge plunges to zero. Whoever you are. You may be a Ph.D. from the most prestigious university there is, you may may be an Eistein, or a person with an I.Q. above 170, marvelously gifted and totally capable in any number of advanced, technological specialties - but you simply "do not know" what tomorrow will bring. Scientists may project, program, predict, deduct, deduce and compute diagrams about the future. They're still only guessing. In algebraic terms, tomorrow remains factor X...a mystery. It cannot be explained. It defies all attempts to be exposed. It lies hidden in the depths of God's unfathomable, intricately interwoven plan. He has not been pleased to unveil it until this old earth spins sufficiently to see the dawn. And then...only one moment at a time.

Tomorrow. It may bring sickness, sorrow or tragedy. It may announce an answer to your waiting prayer. It may introduce you to prosperity, the beginning of friendship, a choice opportunity for sharing this, or just another twenty-four hours of waiting, trusting, and claiming God's presence. It may not even come! God may choose this very day to intervene and take you Home. - either by death or Rapture. We can speculate, we can dread, we can dream - but we do not know.

This sort of thinking leads to an inevitable question: Are you ready? "Ready for what?" you may ask. "Ready for ANYTHING" is my answer. Is your trust, your attitude of dependence sufficiently stable to sustain you REGARDLESS? Don't let the answer slip off your tongue too easily. Think about the implications of that question to your own life, health, job, and family. Should God make you an angel, would you reluctant to make that eternal journey?

Thank God, it is HIs love that arranges our tomorrows...and we may be certain that whatever it brings, His love sent it our way.

Orbiter's Perpetual Rule On Love

Orbiter's Perpetual Rule On Love:

fuck me hard
when we first meet
and if u like me
and u need a relationship,
I might love you back.
I will build us
as long as you bond with me
and make me feel that you
need me.
make love to me
every week and I
will always be yours
as long as you want me to.
I will be your man,
your woman
your best friend
and even your most
reliable security blanket.
tell me always
how you love me
and I will respond back
by showing how devoted
and committed I am to you.
I am your warrior
and your motherly figure. I will
take care of you when you
are afraid, depressed
or even confused.
I am your guardian.
that will protect you against
anything that might harm you.
in my mind, I'd even dream of adopting
you as my own kid...
because I think of you as my
other part.
your partner.
and your tag team buddy in life.

what I only ask from you
is to never fuck someone
behind my back
cause if you do,
I will simply take back
what is mine
and leave you without
turning to look back.
always remember,
someone else out there
can fuck better than you.
he's just searching
for a guy like me.
always remember that sex is
easy. loving and
attachment is the hard part.
cause its not easy to be in love
with someone
without the delusions
of infatuation.

when i love you
it only means one thing..
i love you more than
i love myself.


(this is nice, found in an all gay/bi men site, worth posting-carlo magno)

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Holding Things Loosely

Our deepest feelings. Those misty ones, hard to get a handle on. As the sights, sounds, and smells of different seasons began to create nostalgic itches inside.

Letting go. turning loose. Releasing the squeeze.

Being better at smothering than loving, we are blown away with the thought of relaxing our gargantuan grip. Because releasing introduces the terror of risk, the panic of losing control. The parting cannot happen without inward bleeding. The coward heart fears to surrender its prized toys. Even though it must say goodbye eventually.

Like releasing a dream; or allowing a child space to grow up, letting a friend have the freedom to be and to do; or letting go of a love one. What maturity that requires!

We are often hindered from giving up our treasures out of fear for their safety. But wait. Everything is safe which is committed to our God. In fact nothing is really safe which is "not" so committed. No child. No job. No romance. No friend. No future. No dream.

The greater the possessiveness, the greater the pain. The old miser within us will never lie down quietly and die obediently to our whisper. He must be torn out like a cypress tap root. He must be extracted in agony and blood, like a tooth from the jaw. And we will need to steel ourselves against his piteous begging, recognizing it as echoes from the hollow chamber of self-pity, one of the most hideous sins of the human heart.

What is it that God wants you to do then? To hold things loosely, the He might reign without rival. With no threats to His throne. And with just enough splinters in our pride to keep our hands empty and our heart warm.

Man's Quest

Greece said...Be wise, know yourself.
Rome said...Be strong, discipline yourself.
Judaism says...Be holy, conform yourself.
Epicureanism says...Be sensous, enjoy yourself.
Education says...Be resourceful, expend yourself.
Psychology says...Be confident, fulfill yourself.
Materialism says...Be acquisitive, please yourself.
Pride says...Be superior, promote yourself.
Asceticism says...Be inferior, suppress yourself.
Diplomacy says...Be reasonable, control yourself.
Communism says...Be collective, secure yourself.
Humanism says...Be capable, trust yourself.
Philanthrophy says...BE unselfish, give yourself.

And on and on and on goes the quest of man. No wonder people are confused! Pick any from this smorgasboard of human philosophy, then digest it completely...and you will find yourself suffering from the worst case of indigestion imaginable. It may smell good and even satisfy your rhetorical palate during the time you are consuming it...but it will leave you hungry, uneasy, and searching for something else to satisfy.

And so it is! Look across your work table tomorrow and chances are you'll be observing a living example of someone still searching, still running to find their inner satisfaction. Step out in front of your apartment or home tomorrow morning and look both ways...listen to the roar of automobiles...study the dwellings surrounding you. Those sights and sounds represent people who have, like Little Bo-Peep's sheep, "lost their way," and, tragedy upon tragedy - they don't know where to find it.

Many of them have tried "to be religious" or "live by the golden rule," or "tie a knot and hang on," or "be sincere," but they're still running blind and bored and baffled.

They are attempting to fill the inner vacuum with "everything but the only thing." you name it, it's being tried.

Someone had said, an agnostic:

'Life is narrow veil between the cold and barren peaks of two eternities. We strive in vain to look beyond the heights. We cry aloud, and the only answer is the echo of our wailing cry."

This is best decribed as DON'T FOLLOW ME...I'M LOST

But simply, God says...Be in Christ, rest yourself.

And there's no better way to put it.

A Photo Session 1









photography by Blueraven

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Mobile Phone Shots















Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fallen

"Nothing is so good it lasts eternally..." so the songs goes. Even angels fall. Even the tallest tree will fall.

I fell, too many times. Hardknocks of life, relationships, mistakes, failures, broken dreams, bad luck. Was fooled, was taken advantaged, wa stepped on, humiliated, joked upon and talked about.

But the important thing was, I stood up.

Mariah sang "I can make it through the rain, I can stand up once again, on my own, and I know that I'm strong enough to mend..."

I guess that's one good ingredient God put into the mixture, into His mixing bowl before He molded the putty into human forms. We are resilient, we are strong, we are survivors.

The Aftertalk

"Well, it seems that you made up you're mind."

"It's for the best, I know it's for the best."

"I guess, I hope so."

"Someday, who knows, nothingreally is certain."

"But I am going to miss you."

"Me too."

"So what now? The sun is setting, soon it will be dark.
My heart is gonna loose a part. You."

"Oh, don't be sad. Things will turn out ok. You're gonna be ok. You'll see."

(Sigh)"It's just, just, I can't believe it's over, you and I.
We had it so good."

"I thought about that also, but too many differences amounts to
all that misunderstandings and arguements. I'm sure you got tired of it."

"But it made me more endeared to you, to work it out with you."

"No, it is better this way, believe me."

"I won't be able to change your mind, will I?"

He lifted his knees so that the other can rest an arm on it.

"Nothing is certain."

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Irony Of Life

It has been a rough weekend...I was robbed of my cellular phone and palmtop last Thursday..and I vowed to myself I will never stop until I caught the culprit. Caught he was, in two days, Saturday.

I have yet to claim my cellular back because the police had retrieved it but my palmtop was missing already. It was sad. Those two had sentimental values, was given by my sister who is working so hard in Singapore just to send money to her two children and my mom. She is seperated from her husband who is a bum.

She works in a bar, which makes it more heartbreaking. What can she do? She has to take care of her children. If only I can take all the responsibilities, I will ask her to come home.

So this person whose job is to rob people, how I pity him. He told me he is poor and has to feed his son when my sister is working as a bar girl far away in another country just to raise her two children. How ironic life is.

He had resolved to an easy way of living, but dangerously, and my sister had to work hard selling herself and at the same time,dangerously.

I am saddened. I cried when I thought about this irony of life.

Whenever I see my niece and nephew (see pic) I try my best to make their childhood as happy as I can make it. So that when they grow up, they will be good persons and never to forget that their mother, my sister did all she can so that they will have a good life.

I took the children under my wing, and I play their father figure. Aren't they the cutest?

Thursday, November 09, 2006

I Am Beautiful


I USED TO RUN AFTER YOU, BUT YOU NEVER NOTICE ME. THEN ONE DAY I WAS GONE AND YOU LOOKED FOR ME AND ASKED, “WHY DID YOU STOP?” I SMILED AND ANSWERED, “I DID NOT STOP, I’VE GOT INTO MY SENSES.”

YOU CAN FOOL ME, JUST DON’T LET ME CATCH YOU. YOU CAN REPLACE ME, BUT MAKE SURE YOU LOVE HIM MORE THAN ME. YOU CAN LEAVE ME BUT MAKE SURE YOU CAN. BECAUSE WHEN I AM GREATLY HURT, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO RETURN TO.


GUYS? WHEN HE’S INTO YOU, HE’LL INTRODUCE HIMSELF. PRETENDING TO BE FRIENDS UNTIL HE COURTS YOU. THEN WHEN YOU FALL, HE’LL SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE THEY GOT TIRED OF YOU. BUT NO ONE SHOULD CRY, JUST SMILE. FUCK! WHAT’S THE USE OF KARMA?


I FELL IN LOVE AND GOT HURT, BUT I DIDN’T SHED TOO MUCH TEARS NOR DID I ASK HIM TO LOVE ME AGAIN. INSTEAD, I STOOD UP PROUDLY AND SAID, “IT’S OK, ITS HAPPENS TO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! IT WON’T LOOK GOOD TO SOMEONE STUPID!”


IT’S SIMPLE, NOT TO GET HURT. WHEN SOMEONE LOVES YOU, LOVE THE PERSON IN RETURN. WHEN YOU ARE FOOLED, TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME. BUT IF YOU CRY, YOU’RE A FOOL! YOU’RE ALREADY PLAYED A FOOL, WHY CRY? WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE LEAVES, DON’T BLAME HIM! TALK TO HIM FACE TO FACE AND SAY, “TAKE CARE, YOU'RE KIND OF STUPID.”


IT HURTS WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE LEAVES YOU. BUT DON’T GET BOILING MAD. HE'S SOMEONE YOU SHARED A LIFE TOGETHER, RIGHT? SO FOR THE LAST TIME, EMBRACE HIM TIGHT AND WHISPER TO HIM, “FUCK YOU!” IF THE ONE YOU LOVE DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK, DON'T GET DEPRESSED. JUST THINK ABOUT IT FOR A WHILE, MAYBE CRY A BIT THEN WIPE YOUR TEARS AWAY AND SAY, "HE’S SO WEIRD, HE DOESN’T WANT SOMEONE BEAUTIFUL.”

YOU ONLY GOT ONE LIFE TO LIVE SO LIVE IT WELL, ONE HEART SO TAKE GOOD CARE, ONE SOUL SO KEEP IT PURE, ONE BOYFRIEND? WHAT A WASTE! MAKE IT TWO OR MORE! DON’T LET YOUR BEAUTY GO INTO WASTE. WHEN THE ONE YOU LOVE SAYS HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, LET HIM BE. DON’T CRY AND LOOK LIKE A FOOL! INSTEAD OF CRYING, SMILE AND SAY “SO WHAT NOW? IT’S GOODBYE. THE ONE WHO’LL REPLACE YOU IS ALREADY WAITING.”

Monday, November 06, 2006

So Maybe

MAYBE
By king

There i was waiting for a chance
hoping that u'll understand
the things i wanna say

As my love
is stronger than before
i wanna see u more and more
but you close the door

Why don't u try
to open up your heart
i won't take so much of your time.....

Maybe it's wrong to say please love me too
coz i know u never do
somebody else is waitin' there inside for you....
maybe its wrong to love you more each day
coz i know he's here to stay....
but i know to whom you should belong....

I believe what u said to me
we should set each other free
that's how u want it to be....

Why don't u try
to open up your heart
i won't take so much of your time.....

but my love is strong
i don't know if this is wrong
but i know to whom you should belong........

And Maybe


Maybe . . . you'll think of me, when you are all alone,
maybe the one who is waiting for you will prove untrue
Then, what will you do?
Maybe . . . you'll sit an' sigh, wishing that I were near
Then, maybe you'll ask me to come back again
and maybe, I'll say maybe!
Maybe . . . ( maybe every now an' then, maybe )
you'll think of me,
when you are all alone
( wondering what I'm doin' and if I'm alone )
maybe the one who is waiting for you ( will prove untrue )
( what'll you say? ) then, what will you do?
( what'll you do? )
Maybe . . . ( maybe as the days go by, maybe )
you'll sit an' sigh
wishing that I were near
( 'cause you're just a little blue an' lonely )
Maybe you'll ask me to come back again . . .
and maybe . . . I'll say . . . maybe!

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Maybe


Sometimes I get so sad.
Lonely.

I worry much about a lot of things.
No matter how hard I try to be as positive as I can.

Somehow it overcomes me.


Maybe because am getting older.
Maybe because I am still alone.

Maybe because my family is not yet secure.

Maybe I had many dreams that did not came true.

Maybe my work gets so monotonous at times.


Maybe I find it hard to get by.
Maybe I am just out of luck.

Maybe I am trying too hard.
But these are just feelings.
I am not really sure what I am saying.

Maybe I am just lonely.

Maybe.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

The Talk

"So this is were it leads us."
"I have no more to say, enough of this. We tried but it seemed we no longer have anything to work out for."
"This is so you, you never wanted to talk. Please, for the love of heaven, talk to me!"
"What more can I say?"
"There's a lot to say. Tell me you still love me."
Silence.
"Look at me. I said look at me!"
"Enough of this, I want to be alone."
"I will not go until you look at me in the eye and tell me you do not love me anymore."
"Please...go."
"I won't. I will sit here until you tell me what I need to hear from you."
Silence.
"I will not leave here until I hear you say you don't love me anymore."
Silence. Water splashing.
"Alright. You won't say it eh?"
Silence.